Well as promised im back...

Happy new year to all....

Last year wasnt a great year..losing my mum was so hard and still so difficult..but we still move on....i miss her very much. Its hard loosing ur mum , because like so many mother daughter relationships, we had our ups and downs and our fair share of arguements..And i often sit and wonder, if i had done more, been more compassionate, more loving, would i feel different/...Dont get me wrong, i loved my mum dearly, but in saying that we could only be together for small amounts of time before i had a meltdown.. Our parenting styles were different, i was a late baby for my parents at 42, they came from a very strict time, and i must say i didnt suffer from the occassonal smack, in fact i respected my parents so much, especially when i became a parent..but my parenting skills changed with each child..and by the time i had Jack at 39, i wasnt so tough on him..Perhaps because i didnt have the stamina or strength to run after him....time out is now my parenting style, especially with jacks autism...im still learning what works though...always learning as i get older...learning that as a mum there is nothing my kids could do or say that would never make me stop loving them in some way..So as i reflect on my own mother, im sure she feels the same way about me, her wayward daughter...

ut efore i go some more of 2011 scrapping....

Cheers...